Of Musings & Misery.

Edgar Falsworth Partingston - a filthy tavern-jockey from This, As Far As I Can Tell, Is A Part-Time Position As An Alcohol Vendor. - has sent this question in:

"Dear Pretentious Hat Man,

I see you're new to the blog game, and congratulations on your first post. However, your music blog aside, do you actually have any experience in the field of non-musical blogs? Just that mine isn't doing too well at the moment and quite frankly I could use some pointers.

Sincerely,

Edgar "Pint Glass" Falsworth Partingston

P.S. Please don't print my real name, it's the only thing between me and a libel suit."

Well Edgar, to answer your question, let me don the hat of pretension!



A blog? Come come my boy, these new kids round the block are strictly old hat (unlike the bleeding-edge caviar store that dons my head this very moment, and yes, I have seen you admiring it from afar), I had an internet diary a good hundred years before anybody's "avi" had been swapped - I updated of a Tuesday morning and my subscriptions were eventually so numerous in number that I had to hire three or four paperboys just to deliver my thoughts and feelings around the neighbourhood. If you will, an entry from 1865:

"Mood - Victorian
Music - Nothing, vinyl records won't be invented for another twelve years

I pulled a sweet wheely on my penny farthing earlier today. Here's a link:

Go to outside my Victorian townhouse and I'll do it again at 12pm and 1pm. Then I'm taking the link down, because in a few decades these houses will become very expensive, my bicycle will sadly fall from fashion's whimsy and I shall more than likely be dead.

But yeah, I'm just kinda feeling blergh. More later."

After a few years of this, I grew weary of waiting for the internet and instead decided to become The Times.

I hope this answered your question, Edgar, and I hope that your debilitating alcohol addiction does not stand between you and your dream of being just like me. If you have a question or a crippling deficiency in your character as Edgar does, feel free to contact me at the address to your right. I promise to have my butler give me the jist of your messages as I eat caviar with forks made of precious ivory and endangered lizards.